Co-Sleeping, Bed-Sharing, & Contact-Napping

And how it works for us...

I didn’t plan on being a co-sleeping, bed-sharing, contact-napping kinda family before Saga was born. Not because I didn’t want that, but because for some silly reason, I thought when your baby was tired you put them down in their bassinet or crib and off to sleep they would go. Right? LOL.


It gives me the giggles not because there aren’t babies like that, there are! I know a few of them! But Saga let us know the 4th day of her being here with us that she was not that girl.


Motherhood is constantly reminding me that while it’s great that I do my best to try to prepare for what is to come, what matters more is stopping to witness who Saga is and what she needs. Easier said than done, especially in a world of social media accounts constantly trying to tell us (and sell to us) what’s “best”. If you ask me how many motherhood accounts I follow it’s very far and few because I feel like the information is overload, meant for the masses, and oftentimes ignores your own intuition and individualism on who your baby is (or who YOU are).

The first few weeks of Saga’s life were pretty sleepless for me because I quickly learned that she hated being put down or away from me. I slept with her in my arms every night for the first month. I was terrified of dropping her or something happening to her overnight so while she slept pretty great, my own racing anxieties kept me up.


Eventually after a month I was able to put her in the sweet little Moses basket bassinet I bought for her and she slept directly next to our bed, my side, with my hand draped over her to remind her I had not gone far, until about 3 months. She hit her 4 month progression a bit early and began waking up every single hour. Naturally, I started bringing her into our bed, following the Safe Sleep Seven, because it was the only thing that would allow all of us to get sleep. She stopped waking up so much, I stopped waking up so much, and we were all waking up a lot more rested.

Instead of fighting it, instead of “sleep training”, instead of trying to do anything else but the thing that was working for us — I simply let her show me that this is what brings her peace, therefore bringing us all peace. I let Saga show me what she needs and gave it to her.

Daniel and I weren’t always on the same page about the sleep arrangements either. When she was first born, he had the same assumption that we would put her in the crib and off to sleep she would go. When that wasn’t the case, he would say to me sometimes “Well she’s going to have to learn how to sleep on her own at some point”. I would argue back and those first couple months were hard being on two different pages about parenting. But, as the weeks went on, as their relationship grew and became stronger, as he began to see what worked best for her (and therefore all of us), co-sleeping never became an issue between us.


There are a few things we’ve had to do to make sleeping safe and comfortable for us all. The first, is getting really familiar with the Safe Sleep Seven I mentioned earlier. Secondly, I purchased this memory foam rail guard that I put on my side of the bed and it’s allowed me to sleep a lot more peacefully not worrying that she’ll fall off the side. Third, we’ve recently upgraded to a larger bed to accommodate another little body in bed with us. We had already planned on doing that this summer (to turn our current queen furniture into the guest room for grandparent stays) so I just went ahead and upgraded us this week so we can all more comfortably sleep together.


In regards to our partnership, it requires more communication and effort for intimacy. That was always my question when it came to families who bed share. And guess what? You make time for it elsewhere! There are plenty of other hours in the day and places in your home to have sex. It really is that simple.


Our family loves waking up in the morning together, cuddling at night, allowing Saga to nurse on demand without fully waking any one of us up. And most importantly of all, doing what I know is best for her. Each child and their needs are so different, and there may come a time where Saga starts asking for her own space and independence — or she may want a floor bed in our room next to us. Whatever that next phase brings, I’m doing my best to stay open to it all and shut the noise of the world out. xx

With Gratitude,
Caitlin