My Needs Aren't Important
Coming back to a balanced headspace, cookie in hand.
During my pregnancy, self-care came easy. I saw my acupuncturist every other week. I ate nourishing, whole, real foods. I moved my body every day. I napped when I was tired. I drank an abundance of water. I went to the local bakery when I craved something sweet. It felt joyous and easy to take care of myself and my baby (with the exception of awful morning sickness my entire first trimester). And while since having Saga I’ve kept up with my nutrition, fitness, and skincare in a daily routine kind of way — I completely stopped checking in with myself, communicating with myself, in this postpartum period.
Last week I was in it. Having one of those weeks. Drowning in anxiety. When it hit me that I’ve completely stopped checking in with me. When I stopped to pause and ask myself what I needed that day it came through loud and clear that I wanted that trip to the local bakery, the one I used to take every other Friday after acupuncture while I was pregnant. So I communicated this with Daniel and asked him to watch her for 15 minutes while I made a quick stop down the street to said bakery and picked out not one, not two, but three freshly baked cookies to take home with me.
Carrying that box with me back home and nibbling away as I continued working away on the computer, I felt at peace. Shit, more than that, I felt balanced.
I’ve started to see my acupuncturist each month. I stopped clicking ‘Play’ on the workout videos (Kara Duval’s Range Platform is the *best*) & first ask myself what my body is craving & select a workout from there. I’ve started asking Daniel for help when I need a moment to myself. I take the hot shower when my body is asking for it. I make the time to cook the nourishing meal every night. I hop over to the bakery and get an orange roll in the middle of a Thursday when I want a treat. I started putting the ashwagandha back in my coffee.
The routine of self-care has been easy for me to do, it’s an auto-pilot. But I’m craving, itching, searching, reaching for something deeper. That communication with myself. The pause before hitting auto-play. Peace. Balance. For me. For Saga. For Daniel.
It’s messy. There’s guilt. There’s ‘I don’t have time for this today.’. There’s anxious thoughts and angry ones too. But I’m doing it. And this body isn’t just a sacred space for growing Saga. It’s a sacred space for me too. Cheers to simple acts of feeling balanced, friends. xx
With Gratitude,
Caitlin