Last week I took a pause on the newsletter that almost carried into this week. Partly because I was tired after a challenging week and partly because I’ve found myself analyzing how and what I want to share. Not just here, but publicly, on any social media channel, in general.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve used social media channels like Instagram to support my business as an entrepreneur. But having settled into a wonderful full-time position as a brand manager at Wild Carrot Herbals for a year and a half now, I’ve had a more difficult time deciding what aspects of my life to share. My favorite part of Instagram, and this newsletter, is the community and connection that’s built up over the years. A lot of my community followed me though because of the intentional business advice I was offering. What did I have to connect with you on when I take that away? And then came Saga.
I didn’t document much of my actual pregnancy journey during it because it was a beautiful, special time for just myself and my partner. And also, I was exhausted. I was working full-time, we had just bought our 100 year old house that needed (and still needs) lots of love so we were juggling a lot. But once Saga entered the world, she became my world. And all I ever wanted to share, whether it be social media or elsewhere, was her.
Pictures of her milestones. Videos of her laughter. Snapshots of my favorite memories.
But something shifted in me last week. How safe is it for my daughter to be public content?
When I think of the internet, I don’t think of the weirdos, the creeps, or the darkest corners of it. I think of the other mothers and friends I’ve made here. And every so often something or someone pops up reminding me that these dark corners are very real and very much exist.
I don’t want to go down the rabbit hole with you on those corners. I think we all know what they are and who is in them. And the point of this letter really isn’t about them. It’s about asking myself the question what impact will this have on my life, my daughter’s life, by sharing our lives openly?
The first step I took was to archive or delete almost every post with her as the focus. I also deleted any pictures that show cased our home from the outside.
Maybe this sounds a bit dramatic to you. But the more I think about it, the more I ask myself why are we so open to sharing so many private details about our lives on the internet for complete strangers to see? Why aren’t we more protective about where we live, what places we’re showing up to, our children? Why are we so quick to turn every aspect of our life into content?
And maybe when I say we I mean me. Or I mean it collectively as a culture. Because maybe you can’t relate to this whatsoever.
But as someone who turned their personal life into social media content, no amount of likes or DM or subscribers is worth it to me anymore.
So how do I still share in a way that allows for community and connection? That’s where I’m at. That’s what I’m trying to figure out. I’ll try my damnedest to keep showing up and writing to you through it because my default is to hibernate while I figure it out. xx
With Gratitude,
Caitlin
We also decided not to show our daughter on social media, even tho I don’t have a following and asked family not to post either. There’s something about digital sovereignty I want her to have - I feel like a few photos is okay but documenting every little moment doesn’t feel right. Plus so many creeps it just makes me feel safer. We have a private Snapchat group just for family where we share a video once a day so they can feel connected to her :) don’t think a bunch of strangers on the internet need to see
Totally relate! When I became a mother I wanted to share so many pictures of my little girl. I had a Facebook account 😂 I was just so happy to share my baby, but quickly noticed that extended family were also sharing my pictures and strangers that I didn’t know were commenting on my daughter’s pictures, although positive comments, it did not sit well with me. I asked family members to stop sharing my pictures and stop sharing private information about my kids. It was so wild because they didn’t really understand my concerns! Shortly after I did the same thing. Archived all pictures, eventually just deleted my account and have not posted information about my children ever since. I can imagine being in your shoes where you have built so many beautiful relationships and community but wanting to protect your family and your privacy. Totally respected and understood. Wishing you the best as you navigate this journey!