Throughout my pregnancy, my least favorite thing to be told by others was “just wait until…” <insert something hard & difficult about parenting>.
But truth be told, when I sit here most Sunday mornings, discussing the hard parts about mothering seem to come so much easier. Instead, I want to share some of the beautiful things you have to look forward to. Just some of the incredible moments from my 7 months of motherhood that I want to pause and live in forever.
The moment Saga was born.
Her first little cry. The way her warm, damp skin felt against my skin as they laid her on my chest. Seeing her face after spending 9 months dreaming and wondering what she looked like. Holding her tiny fingers, counting her long toes. Seeing my partner hold her and stare into her eyes like he’d never seen anything more wonderful before in his whole life. This is, and I’d like to think will probably be, my favorite moment in my entire life.Saga’s laughter.
I remember how magical it was to hear her first laugh at 2 months old. But the best part is, that magic never fades. There is nothing better than hearing your sweet baby giggle from something silly you’ve done, or laugh hysterically as you tickle their little feet. It feels like the cure to just about everything.Watching her learn new skills.
Sometimes it feels like it comes out of nowhere, even though you’ve witnessed them practice it for a couple weeks. Rolling from back to tummy. Rolling again from tummy to back. Army crawling to crawling to pulling herself up on things to wanting so badly to walk. Saga is always reminding me that falling is part of the process. It doesn’t stop you from practicing and getting back up again. And again. And again. And again. Until you’ve got it! And even once you’ve got it to remember that you’re going to fall.Watching her fall in love with nature.
The way her eyes light up when she’s around water. Watching the ducks and geese take flight. Watching the snow fall from the sky and cold flakes melt into her hair. Watching her breathe deeply and peacefully during a walk outside after she had just been so fussy and stir crazy in the house. I know these memories will only expand as we head into summers. Playing in the garden, swimming in the lake, running around naked at secret river spots.Her teeny tiny little clothes.
I’m not one for dressing her up in bows or dresses but I did just get her first swimsuit in the mail the other day and await her little linen sun hats from Etsy and it is bringing up a lot of joy for me. Daniel and I decided to hang on to some of our favorites to save, as she’s growing through sizes so quickly, like her Carhartt overalls from her first winter. Or the little softest organic cotton outfit we took her home in from the hospital.Watching her become who she is.
The way she gets excited around other people. She lights up with joy from socializing. So different than Daniel and I. Getting to see her personality come out and develop bit by bit each day is the best. Getting to be parents who don’t try and change who she is, but honor it. Support it. Celebrate it. Saga has higher needs when it comes to being held and wanting to be with me nearly 24/7. Instead of trying to change that or “train” it out of her, it’s been the biggest gift to our inner children to honor it and watch her flourish.Breastfeeding.
I feel so grateful that our breastfeeding journey has been so easy for us. Although it felt overwhelming at first with weeks of cluster feeding, at 7 months we’ve got into a rhythm. I know when she’s hungry, she knows what lapte means when I ask her, and we just get to sit there and stare at each other (or she loves putting her hands in my mouth while she nurses) and giggles when I gently bite her fingers. That sweet little side smile peering out as she drifts to sleep.
I want to give you an 8, 9, 10 but then I know I’ll have trouble stopping myself. There’s a million things, small and big, to look forward to and I’m only 7 months in. I have to stop myself some days from getting so excited to all the things we have to look forward to and instead be here, in this moment, because she’s only growing more each day. Maybe you’re expecting. Maybe you’re having a hard day. Just remember these moments that make the journey so, so very worth it.
With Love,
Caitlin